This should have been put up a long time ago, but since we’re border crossing the next few days and probably won’t have internet, here is a little ditty or what I like to call Ode to TP.
When the rumble begins
and the moment is near
time is short
eyes well with fear
you look around
find the right door
run ahead
the stalls number four
The first is chosen
closest it is
someone is inside
the throne is his
Is there one clean
lucky enough you are
because if it wasn’t
you wouldn’t have made it very far
The pants drop
you sit in a second
relieved at last
your smile begins to bend
As you look up
something important is missing
you really do wish
you’d only been pissing
But as things would have it
pissing you’re not
with the pants down
you’ve been caught
The tears well up
you’re more terrorized than ever
will you forget this day
probably never
Toilet paper, like the air
usually there when you sit
but when it’s gone
oh man, you’re in deep $hit!



As we prepared for our first river trip without a kayaking guide, just following after a raft, and without any staff that could speak English, we noticed that the equipment was a little subpar. By subpar I mean that my paddle was missing a 1/3rd of its surface area…another first for me. The river was a strong (the water was surprisingly pushy for the low water level) class II river with a couple of III’s thrown in there. Thankfully this made it the easiest river we’ve done yet and so we don’t have any stories of blood and gore for a change. On the other hand, the poor condition of our equipment allowed us each to save the other when upside down for the first time. Nevertheless, we had a great time on the Rio Fonce.
than half half our allotted time…silly us for being worried. The path itself was created by a German some years ago to commemorate the trail the indigenous used to “commute” in the time of the Spanish conquest. We passed many fossils in the rocks, we could identify some fish and clams, as well as a couple of still alive gringos and a man on a mule. When we finished, way ahead of schedule, we celebrated with some delightful grilled meat purchased from a street vendor (cost $1) and then warmed up with some yummy hot chocolate.





Step 3: Put the cheese in the chocolate. As you put the cheese into your mouth keep in mind that the cheese is better in the chocolate and if you eat all of it then you will be missing out. Also be sure not to drop the cheese from a high altitude as this will send some of the chocolate onto your shirt…forcing you to do laundry prematurely and wasting valuable chocolate.
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